And so our fairy tale begins

My husband and I met 8 1/2 years ago on a blind date set up by my cousin and his wife. I would love to say our fairy tale always was happy, but I would be lying! We dated for 2 1/2 years (off and on) and were even engaged. We had a wedding date set for June 28, 2003. But in April 2003, Todd decided he wasn't ready to get married...to me. He married a year later...to someone else. And adopted his step-daughter, Jess. In 2006, he found out his wife was cheating on him (karma?) and that she didn't want to be married. So my knight in shining armor came back to me with a few kinks in the armor. In the three years we were separated I looked for a new guy, but each guy didn't measure up to how I felt about Todd. Todd and I kept in contact through occassional emails and phone calls. And of course since he was best friends with my cousin I learned about Todd's life through my aunt and my cousin's wife. So, when Todd called and said he was getting divorced I had mixed emotions. I still loved him, but was it worth the risk of getting my heart broken...again? He was moving home and I was going to give it another chance. I wanted to wait a few months, so Todd had time to be alone and come to terms to everything that was happening. But he insisted that he was ready and knew he wanted me and I was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. So we began dating when he moved back in Dec. Telling my parents was the hardest thing for me to do, I was so scared of what they would say because they got me through the last break up. I chickened out and emailed my mom. My mom had told me when we broke up before the wedding that Todd always comes back and he would come back to me. Well, he did, just with a few dents in the armor. I would love to say the from this point on the fairy tale was always happy, but again I would be lying. Almost a year later Todd decided he needed space, because he needed time alone because he rushed into a relationship with me right after breaking up with his ex. Hmmmm, I think I told him it was going to happen. All this coincided with the birth of his granddaughter to his 16 year old daughter. Todd and I stayed broken up for a few days. But after staying home and crying out my broken heart, I decided I was going to fight for our relationship and not let him decide what was always going to happen in our relationship. We decided to take things slow and see where things may lead. That was October and in Nov. Todd decided to stop using protection. He asked me what I thought, and I have always wanted a child and I told him he knew the repercussions of not using protection (I have never been on the pill, I didn't see what the point was). Well in March, my friend Lisha and I went to Walmart and bought a test. I took it a few days later with Todd....April 1. He cried for happiness and I threw up. My positive test and our engagement all came together. And we began to plan our wedding...well I planned and he said whatever you want. On June 28, 2008 (five years to the day that we were supposed to get married the first time) I became a fairy tale. From the time I took test until the day I gave birth to Faith, I knew something wasn't right. And two days after I became Mrs. Hansel, we found out that there could be something seriously wrong with our baby. And things went down hill from there. Trips to Morgantown gave little hope that our baby would be ok. I kept the Faith, that God knew what He was doing. In September, we found out that our baby had 69 chromosomes (I had an amniocentesis done). With that news the doctor told Todd there was no chance of survival. I of course did research on the internet and found out that the longest a baby had lived with the 69 chromosomes was about 4 or 5 months. The baby was in and out of the hospital with heart and breathing problems every month. We decided that we didn't want that for our baby, so we chose to be induced. We found out that we were having a girl. I chose the name Faith, because I had faith that God would provide us with other children that would be healthy. On September 17, 2008 we welcomed Faith into the world for a few brief moments. Faith was alive when she was born and all her grandparents got to hold her when she was alive. I got to hear her cry, she pushed my hand away as I tried to hold her hand, and she kicked my hand. She only weighed 14 oz and wasn't even a foot long. When I passed her off to Todd he was worried about holding her and how to do it. I said she fits in the palm of your hand and she did. God blessed us with being able to hold our baby, while she was still alive. Todd was my knight in shining armor (no dents this time). He got me through the loss of the baby. And did I mention that in July we found out Todd was getting transferred, 3 hours away. Because I was pregnant and our winter babysitter was my dad, we decided that I would move in with my parents and go with Todd on the weekends. So a week after I got home from the hospital, the movers came and packed up our apartment. The next few months were times for healing and waiting until we could start trying again. In March we found out we were expecting. Our baby was due on Thanksgiving. From the time I took the test, I was excited for this baby. We began buying a book every month for the baby. On June 25, we found out we were having a boy. Todd was so excited. On the 28th we headed to NJ for a few days to celebrate our 1st anniversary. On June 30th my water broke at 10 pm. We rushed to the hospital and they said there was no hope I was going to lose the baby. Todd told the dr, we would go home and see our dr. So my first visit to my new doctor was not a happy one. He sent me to the hospital and they admitted me for observation for a few days. They told me I needed to make it to Aug. 5 and then they would admit me until I delivered. So on July 3, they sent me home on bedrest. On July 4th Todd went to work and I had belly pains all day. We called the hospital and they said it sounded like it was a reaction to the meds they gave me to fight off infection. The pains got worse and felt like contractions. So at 8 pm I called the hospital again as we were headed out the door. At a little after 11 pm they couldn't find his heartbeat and admitted me. At a few minutes before 5 am I delivered Gabriel Alan, our little angel. However, my placenta wouldn't deliver. They waited 3 hours for it to deliver. Then I started gushing blood, but no placenta. I lost so much blood (1.5 - 2 liters) that they had to rush me to the O. R. for a DNC and blood transfusion. Again Todd was my rock. He has been there for me. And so now I wait to see where a fairy tale goes from here....